Welcome to the oven!

Two thousand nine hundred ninety miles (and five hundred forty nine dollars in fuel).

That sums up our trip this year. Just The Missus, the dogs, myself, and a desire to be somewhere else.

We spent two weeks road tripping with our trusty little T@G trailer. We lived off peanut bars, Diet Coke®, cheddar popcorn, and occasionally some actual food.

Also rum. More on that later.

Where did we go?

Well, when we first arrived, I thought we had made a wrong turn into Hell.

We cut short a quick walk with the dogs after about 50 yards when they burned their feet on the hot red sand. We got back to our campsite by running the dogs from shade patch to shade patch. The “shade” came from trees (in reality, juniper bushes about ten or twelve feet high). Incidentally, Winslow discovered the joy of eating juniper berries which lay scattered on the ground in the shade. As a result, we enjoyed the pleasure of taking Winslow out every two hours all night long for diarrhea squirts.

As I suppose often happens in Hell (just like that episode of The Twilight Zone), I lost my glasses within the first hour, and for the rest of our vacation made do with my prescription sunglasses, even at night. I told anyone who asked that I was famous and didn’t want to be recognized. They inevitably asked who I was.

I would smile and shrug, saying, “Mission accomplished.”

Finally! Now I understand that 80's song.

On that first day, the 84° temperature felt hot. The heat radiating off the sand was in triple digits (at least)..

My first impression of Kodachrome State Park in southern Utah, just south of Bryce National Park:

“We’ve voluntarily, on our own accord, traveled to hell on earth.”

Eventually, we adapted to the environment in this hell. And like masochistic souls in a lake of fire actually enjoyed it.

One night, in fact, I enjoyed it a little too much.

Thankful for the cooling evening breezes on our second night, I started a campfire, and we cooked beer brats over the fire. I’m not sure what happened next, but I know that bottle of rum was full when I started, and three quarters gone in the morning. I confirmed this via bleary eyes and abdominal flutters.

I remember very little from that night except standing up to check the fire and falling onto the fire pit. Luckily I hit the metal wall and fell outside the pit, shaving several layers of skin off my left forearm. The wound is now healed.

And assuming I learned my lesson, I expect to make good use of the scar in the future:

Bartender: “Sir, would you like another drink?”

Me (looks at left forearm): “Uh, no, thanks. I’m good.”

We took the dogs on a tour of Bryce viewpoint parking lots and the one trail for pets (a short portion of the Rim Trail). I took photos. We also hiked a couple of trails in Kodachrome, where I took more photos.

The view from above of a portion of Kodachrome State Park

The sleeping arrangements in the T@G were what we’ve become accustomed to. Winslow, being the newest member of the family, took a few nights to figure out his best sleeping position.

Waiting for the running dreams to start

After four days in Kodachrome, we left to visit Zion National Park. Seeing no good place to park while pulling our T@G, we simply drove through and took in what sights were available from the road.

Even with that handicap, the views of Zion are overwhelming.

Of course I drove wearing my prescription sunglasses, and when we came upon the two tunnels on the park road, The Missus in a panic grabbed the wheel from her shotgun position.

The road home took us through Ketchum, Idaho, which seemed pretentious and smug. We stopped for an hour. I had hoped to leave with an appreciation for the rural mountain town that Hemingway loved for so long. Instead, I left feeling sympathetic to the idea of blowing one’s brains out there.

We continued north past the Sawtooth Range, up the beautiful Salmon River Canyon to Darby, Montana, over Lolo Pass back into Idaho, spending our last overnight in a turnout on Highway 12 along the Clearwater River. It was nice to feel the cool mountain air and finally see some actual trees again.

And the smell! The scent of pine forest, after being away for weeks, is like a whiff of “Welcome Home”.

Speaking of signs, my favorite road sign of the trip came at the top of Lolo Pass:

Vomit bags not provided

They weren’t kidding! But it’s a beautiful drive, as well as being the route Lewis and Clark traveled a couple of centuries ago. Of course, they had it comparatively easy, traveling with only one dog.

Through it all, our boys were the perfect Travel Dogs. They even endured a couple of seven-hour road marathons (with potty breaks for all of us).

As always after a long trip, it’s great to be home, surrounded by the comfortable and familiar. And chores. Specifically, the work of getting ready for winter. Laying in firewood; pushing the sand pile into something useful; winterizing the trailer, field mower, and tiller; and making sure the tractor and chainsaw are ready to go.